I attended a youth camp years back and I remember hearing this from a happy couple: pray for the characteristics of the person you want and He would send someone with those characteristics you prayed for. The other one said, “if you already know who you want to be with the rest of your life, then pray for that person and you will have that person the rest of your life.”

Funny as it may sound, I do this. I started it the moment I heard it and it works. I got the person I want to be with the rest of my life. I guess the only mistake was when I had him, I stopped praying for him and I never prayed that he would stay and that things would work out between us…

Now that I know who I want to be with the rest of my life, I’ve been praying for you from the moment we separated. I prayed that you and I will get back together and we’ll end up together in the future but I heard that you are with someone new now and I honestly do not know what to do and how to react…do I still continue praying for you or what?

It was hard for me to accept that you have found someone new. The possibility of you and I ending up together is lower than ever. Sadly there is nothing I can do about how things are. Luckily, I became busy with school and organization matters and I think about you less. I usually end up too tired at night to even pray for you to be in my life.

Should be happy now that I think of you less? Should I be bothered that you are with someone new? Is it better this way that I do not hope? SHOULD I STOP? How would I know? At some point, I want to know the answers. How? I do not know. Somehow, I’m hoping that a sign will come to tell me exactly what I should know and what I should do about it.

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I wonder if I will ever see you again, years after graduation. If ever we do meet again, you think there’s a chance that you and I can work things out again? 

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I admit. I still love you. I am still holding onto you. I am still hoping that one day you will eventually find your way back to me. I admit but it is not something that I am proud of. Believe it or not, I am not proud of this person waiting for almost nothing, waiting to be loved, desperately hoping that you would be with me in the end. What the hell am I doing? Just waiting for you to come around. If not, just waiting for the feeling to fade, that is if it ever will. 

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